Double delight

One of my favorite things is setting up surprises and waiting for them to hatch. It can be tricky when you’re targeting a large concentration of people with a single source of surprise, because you want as many unique instances of surprise as possible. This was satisfactorily achieved over my Christmas vacation, with no particular care on my part.

I got my brother and sister-in-law a blue faucet light. It wasn’t really a Christmas present, but I wanted to get them something extra for their house since I was staying there for a long time. I came across the light in my favorite gift shop. I had no idea they existed, but it was prophetically clear that this had to be purchased for them. Gift-giving is one of my greatest sources of anxiety, so it is wonderful when the perfect gift appears. Everything is right. Nothing is better than that.

You may be wondering about the blue faucet light. It is not a cheesy gift. It is a reputable, high-quality piece of hardware that installs onto the end of your faucet after you remove the existing mesh thing. It comes with batteries installed PLUS a second set of batteries. It also comes with two adaptors, making it likely to fit any faucet in America. My siblings were pleased with the improvement it caused in their faucet’s water flow. The light it emitted was remarkable. It would even flash after you turned the faucet off, as water continued to drip.

So we installed it. I have to mention here that the reaction from my siblings was disappointing. They seemed to think it more weird, less amazing. But I persevered in my enthusiasm, and I think they eventually saw it for what it was. They began looking forward to episodes of discovery by the guests at their New Year’s party.

Meanwhile, I was anticipating the joyful reactions of my parents, who arrived later than I did. They flew in and went straight to their hotel the first night. The next time they were there, I casually asked if anyone needed to wash their hands and no one wanted to. (Pigs.) It might have been a days later when the older generation finally came over to the Little Presidio after dinner. While everyone was hanging around in the living room accomplishing nothing, I finally couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Hey, Mom,” I said, “I think you need to wash your hands. They smell kind of funny.” My sister-in-law, sitting across from my dad, lowered her face into her hands and tried not to laugh audibly.

“Oh, OK,” Mom said, and headed into the bathroom. I guess decades of raising tactless children keeps one from taking offense too easily.

She used the toilet and then washed her hands. I imagined her happiness at seeing the unexpected electric-blue water.

She came out of the bathroom. “Why is the water blue?” The room erupted in riotous laughter. “That’s really cool!” she added. I knew my mom had taste!

“Bear, you need to go use the sink,” she said. “I think you’ll like it.” My dad was sitting in the epicenter of the hilarity, reading The Arms of Krupp.

“Oh, really?” he said, slowly entering the 21st century. He hesitated, got up, walked slowly down the hall as if he feared some trap, and went over to the sink. Then he gave his daughter the gift she wanted: a spontaneous “That is so neat!”