Simple patio or vast estate?

Tonight I installed a cuter (and hopefully more reliable) modulator-demodulator. I am filled with good humor at being able to post, and at a happy ending to my long, heroic battle with the Enemies.

I have discovered that you get better results with “I need this replaced. It doesn’t work and it’s under warranty” than with a reasonable articulation of the problem. At the Apple Store it got me an appointment with the less than enthusiastic Geniuses (have you heard of them??) after they were officially closed, and at the cable place it got me the cute new modem, no questions asked. I was delighted at the force with which the taciturn employee hurtled the old one into a bin in a cabinet plastered with “LUV YA” and “SWEET BOY” hearts. I was expecting they would test it, it would work, and I would drive the 45 minutes back home crying.

I have always prided myself on being reasonable, but now I am beginning to appreciate that unreasonable and closed-minded women may be more highly evolved for today's society.

So anyway, since I am in a good humor, I think I will postpone my planned post on life as a long defeat (which gets ever more confusing the more I think about it) and just share some silly things that have amused me lately.

I.
I was driving to work this week and heard two delightful radio ads, one after the other. One was for an outdoor lighting installation service that will meet your needs “whether you have a simple patio or a vast estate.” That made me laugh. Alas for them, I have a simple patio that is already amply lit.

II.
The other ad was for some kind of car-leasing arrangement, I think. I wasn’t really listening. At one point the man said, “How would you feel about buying a pre-owned car whose previous owner wasn’t a person?” He goes on to explain that the previous owner was the car dealer, but not before my mind had pictured King Kong or some large muddy reptile at the wheel of my fine automobile.

III.
So, speaking of strange creatures, I just have to share these wonderful peoplemals. My favorite is the octopus.

One of my childhood friends drew a silly picture of a person once. For a long time I kept it because I couldn’t help laughing every time I saw it. I have no idea what is was about that picture. I still have it somewhere, backed with cardboard and stuck to a popsicle stick. I hope these peoplemals have a similar effect on you when you see them. I’ve been waiting for an excuse to link to them for a long time, but do you ever need an excuse for this?

IV.
I love it when you buy a head of lettuce and the metal twist tie around it says, “Eat 5 a day for better health.”

Those are all the funny things I can remember right now (that are appropriate to share with my vast and diverse readership). I should have kept a list.